When it comes to seducing a man, attitude plays a very big role in how successful, or unsuccessful you are. If you have a positive attitude you’re more likely to attract men more easily than a gal with a negative attitude. Being positive and upbeat shows in nearly everything you do, as does being negative and glum. Men are much more likely to choose the positive, upbeat gals.

First, a positive attitude reflects confidence and self-respect. As we already discussed, confidence and self-respect are vital. A positive attitude also directly affects how other people feel when they’re around you. For example, have you ever had a friend or co-worker who was always down or pessimistic? If you have, did you notice that after a while his or her mood started making you feel down or uncomfortable or irritable? Chances are it’s happened to all of us. So remember, if for no other reason than to not be a dark cloud hanging over everyone’s head, try your best to be positive and have a good attitude.

But it goes much further than that. When you’re trying to make your best impression on a man, being negative will not work. You have to feel good before you can make anyone else feel good. You have to radiate the same kinds of feelings you want to receive. If you’re not giving off those positive vibes he’ll pick up on it and most likely steer clear of you.

The bottom line: men like to find a woman who’s stable. Part of what men judge stability on is your work. No, this doesn’t mean you need to be a rocket scientist. It simply means that if you’re changing jobs every couple of months, or getting let go for poor attitude or poor performance, which is directly affected by your attitude, then men are going to think twice before they get involved with you.

Be sure to visit my freebie blog Gifts from Jim DeSantis (click here!) for some helpful resources about Dating and Relationships.

If you haven’t had much chance to see how healthy, loving relationships work on a daily basis, taking some time to really study the characteristics of healthy relationships can give you a much better chance of having one yourself. There are lots of different styles of relationships that can work just fine, but all those successful relationship styles tend to have a few things in common.

Respect!

Respect is the one of the main characteristics of a healthy relationship, whether it’s friendship, dating, or marriage. A partner who respects you is willing to listen to you in a non-judgmental way and considers your interests when making any mutual decisions. Any partner who disrespects you by making belittling comments about you, criticizing you in front of others, or disregarding your feelings is one you don’t need.

Support!

After respect, support comes in next as a critical characteristic of a healthy relationship. You and your partner should be encouraging each other to go after important goals and dreams and giving each other enough freedom to do so. When times get hard, you back each other up instead up tearing each other down.

That doesn’t mean you can expect support for everything you do, though. If your partner is nagging you to quit smoking, eat better, or not stay at the office until 11 o’clock every night, they’re probably doing it out of concern for your well being.

Trust!

In a strong, healthy relationship, neither of you should become suspicious or jealous without clear cause. If you have a niggling feeling that you can’t trust your significant other, your relationship will go downhill fast.

That sense of trust doesn’t develop overnight, though. It comes from each partner keeping their promises and sticking to the implicit rules of the relationship (no sleeping around, no lying about major issues, etc.) consistently over a period of time.

No manipulative behavior!

Negotiating is one thing, using threats, guilt, and lies to manipulate a partner into doing something is another. No one should have to put up with being bullied this way. If your partner threatens to leave you, withhold physical affection, or in some other way “punish” you during every little disagreement, you may want to reconsider the relationship.

Economic equality!

This is one of the less obvious ones, but it’s just as important as the others. Some people, maybe due to an underlying fear of not being able to support themselves, tend to get into relationships where they’re financially dependent on their partner.

At first, the idea of having someone support you might sound nice, but what happens if things turn sour? If you don’t have the financial wherewithal to leave the relationship when you want, you could find yourself at the mercy of someone who doesn’t have your best interests at heart. Never let your partner use money to control you.

There are dozens of characteristics of a healthy relationship, but these are some of the most important ones. Remember, though, it’s a two way street. You may be doing everything “right,” but if your partner is disrespectful, unsupportive, or manipulative, you can’t call it a healthy relationship.

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There are a lot of reasons why you should consider dating singles online. It’s nice to become part of a community of like minded people; a huge community of people online sharing one common goal: To find true love.

You might come to ask, what makes dating singles online so special? The answers are simple; yet, profound:

1. Unmarried people are simply tired of traditional dating and want to spice up their dull dating habits can opt to engage in a different path to find romance and love. If you are one of those people who feel that finding the right one is already a difficult chore and task; because of all the pressures and demands, then you need to take a serious look at dating sites which cater to unattached people.

By dating singles online you may find the ‘one’ without any hassles involved. You don’t need to go out “hunting.” If you’re interested in dating sinlgles online; you don’t have to spend big sums of money on clothes to wear, or buy expensive drinks in clubs or bars.

2. By mixing with others on a website you can search for millions of other singles in a very short span of time. You can’t do this with traditional methods. Finding someone interesting on an online dating service can be simple as a few clicks, a little browsing and a visit to their profiles.

Once you read their profile, you will have an idea of whether you would be compatible with them or not. You can easily look for single people who play the same sports as you, a common interest in movies, or someone who has the same passion for cooking, dancing, writing, or anything that interests you the most.

3. Dating singles online will allow you to handle rejection. Since you are dealing with someone that you do not see in person; and you only have a photo as a reference, the feeling of rejection is not that painful. If a particular member ignores you and does not respond to any of your messages, then you can move on to the next prospect. It is just that simple.

4. Singles online will allow you to narrow down your selections from wide varieties of people. As you try to narrow your choices, you’ll be able to get to know people on a deeper level through instant messaging, emails and maybe phone chats. To put it simply; it is much easier to get to know someone online, before you actually meet them in person.

If you use all the tools mentioned above to get to know them before you meet; you’ll probably be a lot more comfortable dating singles online but be sure to visit my freebie blog Gifts from Jim DeSantis (click here!) for Free eBooks about Online Dating and Relationships.

She had to admit, when her boyfriend of several years decided he needed a break from their relationship, just about all she could think of was “How do I get my ex boyfriend back now?”

She was as stressed out as any other woman would be in that situation, but when she really sat down to think about it, she saw there were basically three different answers to the old question of “How do I get my ex boyfriend back?” We have listed her discoveries for you here.

Option #1: Go to him

If you’ve just broken up, this is probably the method your heart’s telling you—no, screaming for you—to use. You want to drive down to his house with French maid’s outfit and a bottle of massage oil and apologize, beg, and bat your eyelashes until he forgives you.

Unfortunately, next to actually running over his dog, this is probably the very best way to make sure the break up is final. It makes you look emotionally unstable and like someone who can’t really handle life on their own.

Sometimes those tearful, lovelorn pleas work on us gals, but they usually have the opposite effect on men, who aren’t as comfortable with open displays of emotion as we are. For this reason, even a little thing like sending a mushy love letter is just a bad idea. That’s why I decided this wasn’t the answer to the question of how do I get my ex boyfriend back.

Option #2: Let him come to you!

No! I don’t mean sitting by the phone all night praying for him to call. I mean going about your life as if you’d never met Mr. what’s-his-name, only stopping to let any mutual friend of yours know that you’re still single and theoretically willing to speak to your ex.

If you honestly think your guy will soon come to realize what a mistake it was to let you go (eg. he’s done this before), you’re probably safe with this route. Otherwise, though, it’s fairly risky.

You’re counting on the fact that he’s still thinking about you when in fact he could be off on Caribbean cruise thinking about anything but his ex girlfriend.

Option #3: Work through friends!

Recruiting mutual friends to help in reuniting you and your guy is not only effective, it’s also a perfectly respectable, unlike the French maid outfit thing. The reason this works is because his friends will be able to frame your outpouring of longing in the way your guy can relate to and, more importantly, that doesn’t freak him out.

The trick here is to choose one and only one of his friends to help you out. Don’t start calling everyone whose number you have in hopes of overwhelming him with attacks from all sides.

You’ll both dilute the effect and make yourself look desperate. Just pick one friend and ask if they’d been willing to convey a message to your ex. If they are, be as open an honest as you can be about what happened and how you’re feeling.

I can tell you, sitting home wondering “How do I get my ex boyfriend back?” won’t do you much good. Ultimately, you have the best chance of winning him back by enlisting a friend of his for help. But, you can improve on the options above by seeking the advice of a professional relationship therapist.

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Getting over heart break can be just as difficult as overcoming an addition to cigarettes. In fact, some research has shown that love has a hold not only on our heart, but also on the pleasure centers found within our brains.

The bottom line here is that love has power over us not only emotionally but also neurologically as well. Heart break can really hurt, but that doesn’t mean you cannot find healthy and productive ways to get over it.

If you are currently dealing with the pain and the grief associated with heart break, here are five ways to get over heart break:

- Do something wonderful for yourself. You can break out of the terrible self-imposed emotional prison that you are suffering through right now simply by shifting your focus in the opposite direction from your problems. Do something surprising and enjoyable for yourself if you want to steer yourself into a better state of mind. Take a little vacation, or enroll in a class or a creative endeavor. Take yourself out to dinner and enjoy an evening out on the town by yourself, taking in the sights. Give yourself a feeling of joy and centeredness and you will get over your heart break.

- Envision your life as being capable of improving beyond what you had planned. Everything that happens in our lives has pros and cons, including the relationship you just left. Think about how this change could actually benefit you, and focus on the good that can come from the breakup rather than the bad.

- Flirt with somebody completely new. You may not want to think about flirting with someone romantically, but if you give it a chance, and work up the courage to go out and do some innocent flirting, you may be surprised at the results. Do some innocent flirting out in public, in the grocery store, the post office or the gym. Say hello to someone that you find attractive, and let your gaze linger for a few seconds longer than you normally would. A little bit of flirting, even if it never ever leads anywhere, can be an excellent way to get into the groove again.

** The above advice “Flirt” is an intricate part of the 5 ways to get over heart break, but common sense should prevail and do not allow yourself to get into an unsafe situation.

- “Pretty” Yourself Up a Bit. Nothing will get you out of a stupor like a makeover, a new exercise regimen, a brand new diet, or tuning up your wardrobe a bit. It takes a little bit of effort, but it is well worth the results when you start feeling better about yourself in the way that you are meant to.

- Consider Making Up with Your Ex. This is the last option available to you. Do you want to try to rekindle things with your old flame? Handle things efficiently and you may be able to make up with your lover of the past. Seek advice from the experts, though, to make sure that you do not get the door slammed in your face.

Very obviously, the 5 ways to get over heart break, mentioned above are not the “panacea” of all heart break, but they will go a long way in helping your broken heal.

Want to make up? Be sure to visit my freebie blog Gifts from Jim DeSantis (click here!) for a Free eBook that can help you Get Back Your Ex.

Forever In Love: Romance Tips For Married Couples

Worried the romance is fading from your marriage and looking for a ways to get it back. Rest assured there are plenty of little things you can do strike up that spark again. No matter deeply you’re love, romance tips can go a long way towards keeping “that lovin’ feelin’” alive for decades to come. Here is how…

Schedule a date night

Heard this advice before, haven’t you? Sure, it’d be great to go out to a fancy restaurant once a week, but there’s a budget to keep and kids to watch. Who has the money or the time? Well, you probably do if you use a little imagination. Are you on a tight budget? Stay in and make a gourmet meal together. Can’t find a sitter? Try swapping kids with other parents—you watch theirs on Friday night and they watch yours on Saturday night.

Spice up your lovemaking

Even when you’re truly in love, romance tips for the bedroom tend to fall by the wayside when you’re trying to deal with everything else that goes on in life. If you feel the passion’s faded a little, put some real effort into reviving it. Take some time to actually talk about your turn ons and desires. Sometimes just a book on love-making ideas can be enough to get your motors running again.

Audit your behavior

For some reason, it seems the more familiar we become with someone, no matter how much we love that someone, we tend to forget our manners around them. We end up criticizing, nagging, and taking them for granted. It’s not comfortable to admit, but most of us develop a few bad habits overtime. That’s why it can help to take a cold, hard look at how you treat your spouse and work on less-than-loving behavior that might be killing the romance/

Have real conversations

Find you have nothing to say over dinner other than “How’s the roast?” or worse, can’t think of anything to say at all? If so, make talking to each other again a top priority PDQ. Remember, for those in love, romance tips that are effective don’t always on the roses and candlelight part. The foundation of romance is emotional intimacy and you’ll only reach through frequent, open conversations about the things that really matter.

Give more

Both common sense and sociological studies hold that the more each partner invests in the marriage, the more they generally get out of it. When one partner freely expresses their love, it sets off a cycle of giving and giving-back between you that’s hard to hold back.

The nice thing is that it only takes one partner to kick off the cycle.
You just want to make sure you don’t get stuck in the position where you’re being taken advantage of or feel resentment if you don’t get as much in return.

If you’re starting to feel like the average potato soup has more romance in it than your marriage does right now, it’s time to do something about it. A dull spell can lead to serious marital problems all too quickly. So, if you want to keep alive your love, romance tips like the ones above are a good place to start.

Be sure to visit my freebie blog Gifts from Jim DeSantis (click here!) for Free eBooks about marriage and romance.

Divorce is something that no one wants to face. It is a hard situation that many people have to find the strength to get through. Sometimes there are hard feelings between the two couples and sometimes the couple will still get along very well. It is hard to tell what is going to happen and sometimes you just have to see how it goes. The ball is in your court and you need to make the best choices that you can.

One thing is for sure; once you are divorced, you do not need to be having an intimate with your ex.

This is not something that is wise because of the issues that will come along with it. You want to break your ties so that you are free and able to move on easily to better and bigger things.

You will want to remain friendly with your ex. This is for obvious reasons. When things go a lot smoother, you will find it to be a lot easier to get things accomplished. You really can kill them with kindness however you do not want to be so kind that you are jeopardizing your health and well being for any reason. You do not want to get involved with the complicity of having sex with your ex when you are trying to rebuild your life and make something better for your future.

When you are trying to rebuild your life, you want to do the right things. You need to make the right choices for you and you family so that you are not putting anyone’s well being at risk. This will also include your ex. When you are still carrying on an intimate relationship with your ex partner, you will find that you may be setting either one of you up for a very big fall. This is not something that you should be doing at this stage of the game.

A divorce is something that can be very complicated and when you are combining sex with your ex, you are only making the situation more complicated. You need to make sure that you are severing these ties and making it very clear that you are not interested in this part of your life anymore. You need to of course make sure of this before you file for divorce but having a physical relationship is not the only thing that matters with a marriage. You need to have all the factors there so that you can have a successful relationship that works for both of you.

There are so many things to worry about when you are trying to rebuild your life after a divorce. You do not want to have to deal with too much when you already have so much on your plate. You want to be careful and make the wise decisions that you know you can make. You have to be willing to let the physical side of your relationship go so that you can free your mind and body up for the next chapter in your life.

There is so much life out there and when you are divorced, you are able to take it all on. You should not be holding on to the past even if it is comforting at the time. You want to get out there are find out who you are and what your goals and dreams are in life. This is the only way that you can make your new life a huge success. This is going to be worth the self-control that you have when it comes to refraining from having sex with your ex.

Is there still hope for reconciliation? Be sure to visit my freebie blog Gifts from Jim DeSantis (click here!) for a Free eBook – “The Magic of Making Up”

Getting an ex back is the fantasy of millions of people who have been dumped by someone they thought was their soul mate. It is a painful and shocking experience but, if your ex still has love for you, your breakup can be reversed with the right techniques.

Here are some smart tips for getting your ex back.

Over centuries, dreamers and poets spoke of love as an idealized state of mind that they created. But in reality, authentic love between a couple happens after the exciting newness of the first few passionate encounters wear off. Love becomes real and starts to develop after the early excitement dies down. The danger is that we take our partner for granted, believing they will love us no matter how we offend them. Taking our partner for granted plants the seeds of a breakup.

When you are dating someone, you are just not ready to consider the bad that might happen. You only see the good and a happy future. One of those things that you need to be ready for is what to do if the relationship ends abruptly and without warning. Do you go on with your life, licking your wounds as if nothing has happened, or do you do the smart things needed to get your ex back?

Perhaps you have been on the verge of giving up because your friends and family members may not be very supportive of you trying to get your ex back. They may advise you to let go of the relationship and find someone better. But, giving up on your ex and starting over is not as easily done as said.

If you are wondering whether you can get them back you need to do some soul searching. How you proceed depends on what you did or did not do during the relationship. Many times our partners tell us in advance what we are doing that upsets them. Many times we make the mistake of not listening or ignoring their warnings. When this happens, we are shocked when we are dumped.

Well, if you are really serious about getting your girlfriend back, then you should be totally honest with yourself. You need to admit where you messed up the relationship and, if they give you another chance, resolve to not repeat your behavior. That’s a good starting point toward mending the relationship – admitting your fault.

What if your girlfriend is ignoring you? It doesn’t mean the relationship is finally over. Perhaps, she is only ignoring you temporarily. You just have to wait for the right timing to contact her again, especially if both of you have just broken up and test the waters. If she is open to talking with you, there is hope.

If you are really serious abut getting your girlfriend back, you need to understand one thing. There is most likely a main cause for the break up to occur. The problem can lie with her or maybe with you. Or it may lie with both of you. Whatever the situation is, you will have to try to resolve it.

Even though what you see as wrong with your partner may be true and is really how you feel, you do not want to point a finger of blame at your partner. Doing that may cause your ex to perceive you as blaming it all on them and will make your ex want to avoid you more. Concentrate only on pointing out what you did wrong. If your ex does not reciprocate with what they may have done wrong, you may have a losing cause. Both sides must be willing to change or any reunion will only be temporary. The old habits will again destroy the relationship, perhaps, for good. What you want to do now is to understand this principle and use it to your advantage.

At the same time there are some mistakes you want to void. For example, one mistake that many guys make is to try to call their girlfriend too often, in an attempt to get their girlfriend back. This is a sign of desperation and no girls like guys who are desperate.

Of course, there are many other common mistakes beside the one mentioned above. For starters, a guideline you want to follow is to avoid doing things that make your partner perceive you as being emotionally desperate. Keep your efforts for reunion above emotional arguments and stick to factual arguments. Emotional arguments make you appear “needy”.

Relationships come with no guarantees, and when you decide to enter into a relationship with that special one, there is no telling what may happen. Naturally, you hope that your feelings for each other will last and that the relationship will endure until the end of time. But what happens if the relationship comes to an unexpected ending? Take some time out to determine what you want to do next. You can choose to move on, or you may decide that you really want to get back together with your ex.

I hope this helps.

Jim DeSantis is a retired Pastoral Counselor who edits 35 blogs and websites. Jim provides more information about how to Get Your Ex Love Back – here!
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