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When did professional men get such a bad rap? Despite relative success, professional accolades, and the benefits of membership into a higher tax bracket, it seems there are a number of myths circulating that misrepresent the diverse makeup of men who wear suits, kick butt, and take names in their careers.
Studies have found that Americans LOVE accents. Although the British accent comes in first for most accent-adoring folks, when it comes to accents here in the United States, it’s the southern drawl that’s winning fans left and right, according to a brand new study from Cupid.com.
I’ve noticed a trend. I don’t know if it’s just me or if it is common.
When I’ve met someone online and we’ve exchanged some emails and phone calls, when we meet there’s a sense of familiarity. The meeting seems like a formality, just verifying the other isn’t bizarre looking or socially inept and is attractive to us on some level. Assuming the other person passes for our definition of normal, we agree to a second encounter.
And here’s where it becomes somewhat Twilight-Zone-ish.
On that second encounter, the man has transformed from someone I just met into my boyfriend. He may hold my hand, put his arm around me, or kiss me well before the end of the date. He may talk about trips he envisions us taking or my meeting his relatives. He has become an instant boyfriend.
While I’m not averse to PDA nor exploring future plans, it just seems he jumps to a closeness before it is warranted. After all, we barely know each other. I’m not sure yet if I want to be kissing this guy, let alone meeting his family. The relationship seems to have been accelerated, skipping some key parts of getting to know one another and letting the familiarity and connectedness unfold.
This instant relationship has been time-collapsed even more dramatically in some instances where men have French kissed me upon first meeting me, or assumed we were going to sleep together on our first date. I have had men tell me they were falling in love with me during our first encounter.
Is it that they are so lonely/horny/desperate that the slightest interest from a woman catapults them into relationship mode? Are they players and these moves have proven fruitful in the past to get women in the sack? Are they so socially ignorant that they don’t know affection must grow?
Then I wonder if I’m doing something to draw out this behavior in a normally rational man. I’d like to think I was so sexy/fetching/bewitching that a sane man can be cast under my spell and quickly forget common sense, but I don’t believe it is me. I know I’m not all that.
So this is another situation that goes into the “What would make him behave this way?” But instead of this just being one man’s behavior, I’ve seen it with enough men that I’ve noticed the trend.
If you’ve encountered this, what’s your explanation? Guys, can you give us some clues into why men would jump to instant boyfriend behavior?
Want to read other examples of men behaving in unexplainably? Get your copy of Embracing Midlife Men: Insights Into Curious Behaviors
The Xbox One released today and girlfriends are exasperatedly sighing everywhere. But gamers get a bad rep in love. From being good with his hands to having a bigger brain, there are a ton of fact-based reasons why a gamer makes the perfect boyfriend.
Blathering. Babbling. Rambling.
You hog the air time. Instead of it being a dialog, it’s a monologue. You go on and on, barely taking a breath, not allowing the other to interject anything but “uh huh.” You don’t ask a question.
You lose the opportunity to get to know a potentially great mate.
You lose his attention, both short and long term. If it’s on the phone, he will start checking email, texting others, or watching TV. Or maybe all of the above.
It’s sad, as you have no idea why you aren’t getting any dates — or maybe get first dates but then you bore the guy to tears so you aren’t getting second dates.
You may even be a little self-aware and after an hour of droning on you say, “I’ve been monopolizing the conversation” but you do little to rein in your motormouthing.
I just had a second call from someone who prattles. He seems like a nice enough guy, but he went on and on for an hour and ignored my attempts to contribute to the conversation. The more this continued, the less interested I became in meeting him. I finally had to make up an excuse to get off the phone because I found myself doing other things since it really didn’t matter if I was listening or not -— he was just going on about what interested him.
I wish there were a way to politely signal to someone that they are yammering, but I’ve not found a way to do this. And even if someone becomes aware of their jabbering, I’ve found few people who have the self-awareness and discipline to shift this bad habit.
And they have no idea what it’s costing them. It not only costs you dates and a relationship with a great guy (unless he’s hard of hearing, extremely patient, or doesn’t mind the non-stop chatter), but it also costs friends and could even affect promotions at work.
Have you dated a prattler? If so, how did you make him aware of his bad habit? Was he able to cut down his incessant monologue? If you are the guilty one, have you been able to become aware of this off-putting habit and make changes? How?
Want to avoid dates you regret? Get your copy of Check Him Out Before Going Out: Head Off Dud Dates.